Dear Abby

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT (but he totally loves me)

I was dating this guy, I’ll call him “Ryan”, at work who was totally obsessed with me, then got promoted and moved away. I wanted him back so I told him that I was dating lots of other guys (black guys mostly) and also that I was pregnant (total lie) and keeping it. Then, for no reason at all, he gets totally upset that I lied to him about being pregnant. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he says we are never going out again. I don’t get it. Then I started dating “Darrel” who works in the warehouse. We are totally in love, but he wants to spend time with another woman. I told him “you have to make a choice. It’s either your daughter or me.” He picked his daughter, but I know he didn’t mean it. I told him I need to know where this is going and he said “you need to access your un-crazy side.” Darrel is the most complicated man I have ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of game is that?

Sincerely,

Crazy in Love Kelly

Dear Abby

Today begins a new era in the Catbox with the birth of a segment called “Dear Abby”. I will post all sorts of interesting situations for which advice is desperately needed. Then you, my loyal readers, will be providing said advice to guide those that have lost their way. These are real situations…or perhaps stolen from the real lives of real characters on real TV sit-coms. No advice is too harsh or inappropriate; just tell us what you really think in your heart of hearts (which is the tiny heart inside your beating heart). Our dear friend, and loyal commenter, Abby will be comment-advising with you as if this segment was named specifically for her…because it was. I am sure she will have excellent advice, but do not let that deter the rest of you from commenting. Here is our first sticky situation from a reader in Scranton, PA:

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

Dear Abby,
I am an accountant at a mid-range paper supply company and have been in a relationship with the top paper salesmen at my local branch. Then he murdered my cat, Sprinkles, and I had to break up with him. How do you tell someone it’s over? You send them a notarized letter, right? Well, what if the recipient is your notary?

Sincerely,

Soon to be Single in Scranton

PS- Do you have any men that you could fix me up with? I would like to have a relationship with a man.